Where the Wild Things Are

When I was five I went for a walk with my family near Glacier. We came across a mama moose and her baby. My Uncle Mac whistled to get mama to look up for a photo. Naturally, mama charged us! We high tailed it our of there so fast that I lost one of my sandals in a river crossing.

I learned at a young age to respect nature ... and that adults don’t always use sound logic.

I was also really pissed that I lost my sandal.

Every year my parents take my son to Yellowstone. One of his biggest hopes has been to see a grizzly. This was his big year!

When Evan returned from his trip we were enjoying looking at the photos he took along the way. He mentioned that they saw a huge male grizzly and a man and his son ran across the street to get a closer look. ‘No way,’ I thought. Who would be so dumb?

Uhhh ....

All bear photos taken from inside the car with a telephoto lens like sane people should!
Caption contest?? "Hey, son, first one to smack that bear wins a Coke!"

Oh, the bear's name is Scarface. You don't earn the name Scarface by your passive and gentle nature!!

A short while later my dad snapped this one ...

Scarface: "I'm smiling because I'm the most intelligent being here ... oh, and I want to eat you!"

As a runner I’ve grown accustomed to the wildlife around me - be it in my neighborhood or in the middle of nowhere. The odds are pretty low that anything bad could happen but it’s always best to be careful and respectful.

• I’ve met a herd of male bighorn sheep running down the trail. I squashed myself on the side of the road and happily escaped being trampled.
• I’ve been dive bombed by an owl - TWICE.
• I’ve had a blue heron fly past and graze me with the tip of it’s wing.
• I had a coyote pace me for over half a mile - totally freaked me out.
• I’ve probably jumped over about a dozen snakes (no rattlers, thank goodness).
• I’ve been hit in the face by a bat (the animal, not the sports equipment).

Of course, sometimes it's just downright fun ...

My son has a bit of an eagle eye when it comes to wildlife. Often, when he bikes while I run, he will point out coyotes and foxes that I would have never noticed otherwise. It’s a little humbling how many critters I don’t see that can see me. 

Another friend works as a wildlife guide. He knows where the bears can be found. He once mentioned that he will see runners going past brush where he knows bears frequent. He doesn’t know if it is best to mention this to them or just leave it be. Shoot ... I don’t know. 

I’ve passed an older lady a few times in Roxborough Canyon. She trail runs with a string of little bells around her waist. She says it’s to scare off the bears and mountain lions. Really? Would that really scare them off? It always gives me a visualization of a dinner bell ...

But, hey, nature happens. It’s the people that really disturb me.

Example ... I was running in an area where there are several big horn sheep herds. The female/juvenile herds are fairly docile and often will hang around the side of the road. One morning I noticed a father and his three daughters (ages 10-15, I suppose). They had a juvenile big horn penned in with their four bikes. The youngest was petting it while screeching “I’m touching a goat, I’m touching a goat!!!”

Oh yes, I marched right in there clapping, yelling, and chased the little guy up the side of the mountain where the rest of the herd was. I turned around and told them what I thought. The pinhead family was pissed and proud Papa called me a bitch. I wore that badge with pride for the rest of the day.

Another example? My friend Kim is an amazing river woman. She spent every summer rafting. As a vet school student she was a professional guide. One trip a woman kept looking over the side of the raft, peering into the river. Kim assumed she was interested in the currents so she kept talking on and on about eddies and holes. Finally, the lady looked up at her and said:

“It’s amazing, you can’t even see the tracks the boat is running on!”

Living in Colorado I'm always taken aback over how few people take advantage of the limitless great outdoors just a short drive away. But then again, maybe most should just stick to their living rooms and malls.

How about you? Any good man vs. nature stories?